Okay well it is day 6 of this gosh darn liquid diet. I have had some real big test over the past few days. So let me back track the past four days.
Friday was Nidias wedding rehearsal dinner, which of course I cooked for a small army, lol. Not fair that I cooked and cooked and couldnt even nibble a small bite! But I did good. It was only day two of my liquid diet so I was a little irriatable that night, but I actually handled myself well, and they were all so very supportive and courteous. The big test was the wedding night. I had gone to a bridal fair with her back in January and we had fell in love with one catering company and their cilantro chicken. I had joked with Nidia for the past few months that the thing I was most excited about for her wedding was that stinkin chicken. HA. So back to the test... Wedding went off without a hitch. We get to the reception, mingled a little, had some water, and BAM, time to eat. If I were graded on that night, I would get a big F!!! Yep, I ate my cilantro chicken. It was one night! I dont think it will make that big of deal, I hope so anyway. So thats that. I can't change it now, and I wouldnt anyway because it was SOOOOOO good. Yummy.
So Sunday I was pretty tired and lazy. We were up late (which we arent used to), so we kinda just hung out. I stuck to my liquids. I was back on track. By Monday, day 5, I am really starting to feel the deficiencies of not eating right. I am suppose to really be chugging the protein drinks, but I am having a hard time with it....they are so very gross.
So today is day 6, Tuesday the 18th. I did really well today. It does seem to be getting easier. I am used to looking at food and not eating it. I didn't get as hungry today as I have been, and I acutally drank less today. So all the support groups were right, it does get better with time.
I have spent a lot more time online the past week. Yes facebook too, but that is not what I am referring to. I joined several online support groups, i.e. www.obesityhelp.com . They are very informative of things I have yet to experience, and very uplifting with the issues I have to face. One of the topics I read a lot of the threads was how relationships change when you go thru an experience like this. I could face issues of insecurities, jealousy, etc. So let me address those fears now.... None of my friends are shallow enough to be insecure that that won't be my friend at the end of this. One of the examples on there was this: this lady had several friends, and for some reason or another they were all overweight to some degree. One of this persons friends ASSUMED that she wouldn't want to be friends once she became thinner. I find this ridiculous. Why would I stop being friends with someone after I lose weight. How could I stop associating with someone because they are over weight? Thats crazy. But as I read on, it was the over weight friend that had the issues. It was HER insecurities. I can't see that happening with any of my friends; but I will now be aware of the possibilities and make sure it DOSEN"T!! The other issue was jealousy. Once again, I can't see that happening. My friends are so supportive of me. They have encouraged me and been behind me since my decision to go through with this. My friends follow my blog, and I want to publicly say to you now....I love you guys, thank you for your love and support. My friends are my rock! I pick and chose who I want to be friends with. I am actually going to take this time to give myself a pat on the back. I said a few years ago that I would be more picky as to who I allowed in my life, and I have done very well. I used to try to be friends with everyone, make everyone happy, and forgot what was important....ME! When I become real friends with someone, I cherish that friendship dearly. I guess that's why my friends become lifelong friends, and not just people along the way. I don't have a new "flavor of the month". I recently had to sever ties with someone that I really cared about....it was hard! But I guess it was the right thing to do. But I don't need people in my life that will keep me frustrated or really who doesnt know what a REAL friend is. I do care about her, but I need comfort and peace, and lord knows...NO DRAMA. Those people close to me know that I need peace, honesty, and laughter. Thank you guys. So I end this on a tad of a sour note, I have lost a friend, and I am sad about that. But I also gained a little more confidence in myself that I have the courage to put myself first and do what is best for me. And for those of you who have trouble venting and dealing with things....try this. I am referring to blogging. It is oh so therapeutic. You get to chose who you let in.
Good night my friends....and family.
