Now....I wait.

I made on more trip to Wilford Hall Medical Center today. Its the last trip I will make before my surgery. WOW! I can't believe I am 48 hours away to the beginning of a new me. Emotions are still high, and probably will until I start doing my count down to sleepy time, (when the anesthesiologist puts me to sleep). I am scared (of surgery), I am nervous (that something will go wrong), worried (something bad will happen), and exicted (of my healthy new start on life). So when I say emotions are running high, there you have it! I can't even begin to tell you the things that have raced through my mind. Mostly the worried part. I can't help but worry mostly. I seriously don't want anything to happen to ME! What would that do to my family? I know I can't think like that, but I HAVE to. Crazy as this sounds, I have decided to write letters to my hubby and kids. I know it sounds extreme, but you just never know. I have to do it!!! It's for my piece of mind. So really that is where my mind is right now. AFTER surgery is over, I wake up healthy, THEN and ONLY THEN, will I start focusing on my future and the aftermath of the surgery itself.
So there you have it. Now.....I wait!