Distractions

Okay, I am feeling a little blue today. First day of being home alone since my surgery. I have had some personal issues that have kept me frustrated this weekend, and now that I am home alone I have time to sit and "stew" over them. Part of me wants to scream, and part of me wants to cry! I am trying to stay focused on my health and healing right now. But UGH!!! No make that a double ugh!!! I want to VENT so badly, but the one person I need to be venting to IS my problem right now. Anyone who knows me well knows I dont like confrontation, which is probably the reason I get used and taken advantage of all the time. Whats the old saying....I need to grow a pair! I am tired of always being in the wrong, always being the one who gives in, and always the one that feels like I have done wrong, when in fact its usually not. WHEN I do try to be upfront, I get kicked in the teeth! It is so frustrating. I try not to let it get me down and sidetracked, but I just can't help it. I couldn't even go on a nice walk for being angry! Okay, there is my vent! Whewww, I sorta let it out.
So this is going to be a busy week for me. Tomorrow is Emmas end of the year awards ceremony, support group meeting, and mom gets here. Thursday is the last day of school, and Friday is Brandons graduation. And Saturday is his graduation dinner with family and friends. =( I can't believe I have another one graduating already. I am exhausted just from thinking of my week.
See, my life is full of distractions. Not just emotional issues, but hectic too! I can do this, I know I can. I have said 100 times this year, that this was going to be MY year. I am trying so hard to do what is best for me for a change. I just gotta quit letting people get in my way.

Focus: I am doing very well. Feeling very good. Went to the mall yesterday. Felt good to get out of the house. The first sign I was getting tired, we left. My family is so supportive. They are truly wonderful to me. They are all very understanding that I have limitations. But they are also impressed of how few limitations that I have. My biggest problems is not being able to lift over 10 pounds, and not sleeping on my stomach. There isnt really much more I can't do. But I am ready to be advanced to soft and pureed foods. I am kinda getting tired of liquids. Although liquids now is easier than before my surgery, because I dont get hungry. =)
So thats it for the moment.
Chow~